Black Out Drunk-dont remember taking this photo

In the first photo i painted with light at a camp fire.  Hearts are generic, easy and a strong symbol everyone recogizes, so i tried.  I tried a few more times and the top one was all i got.  Whether you call it camping or getting drunk in the woods, thats what i did.  I began to drink.  But in the back of my head i kept telling myself, "You cut the bottom of that heart off."  I slipt another shot in, couple more beers, couple more shots, shotski, shotski, shotski and then 5 more beers...probably.  I dont remember much, i blacked out and relied on other people to tell me what happened in my life that evening.  Point is, the bottom picture was taken when my mind couldn't collect any thought aside form my brain telling my body to shut down while they flush out a flooded liver.  I was very happy that when everything was dead in my head photography was still very much alive.  Photographs never die, they just age.

-Rock-

From left to right: Mark, My Father

Seeing The Upside

"its been a long time since ive felt this good" i told Mark, as we continued to hike onward up a mountain top.  "Im taking photographs again, im clear headed and im confident."  It is a wonderful feeling to experience everything in such a high positive way once again.  As most of you know i have been taking photos very very often ever since i was in the second half of my high school exsistence.  Then i went to school in Glenwood Springs.  And then, somewhere within that apple of time, somewhere if you dig out a timeline and look at the results of photos taken something doesn't seem right.  The numbers will show you that at one point i took about as many photographs as a tourist with no travel plans took.  I was a different person going through what i call a funk.  Some call it writers block some others don't believe things like that happen and others say your just plain lazy.  Lazy could of been it.  With no motivation or any sort of enthusiasm photography in general swooped out of my brain.  I quit photo shcool and i worked a few jobs trying my best to figure out what to do next.  I was very satisfied with what i learned while taking photo classes and i thank all the professors and students i worked with for helping me out.  But come 2nd year it just wasn't for me, and it was a decision that at the time was easy to make, when i was in a funk and not having a single care to pick up a camera.  I moved on, summer was coming, and i didn't think it would ever be this easy for everything to click.   

I came back to Canon City and was with my family again, i was in a familiar environment and i was ready for a change.  My mother said god has blessed me with a gift to speak to people that comes naturally.  I weigh heavy on the subject when it comes to appreciating it.  But i dont have to try really hard to get along with people, seeing things is what I strive to work for. I began to take photos again and like that, my eyes began to adjust.  Over the past couple weeks i feel like an athlete who decided to stop playing, then all of a sudden came back and is getting to be back in top shape.  Ever since i arrived here on May 27th, I've made it a goal to take at least one good photograph a day, at least.  I am very proud to say that its not just one good photograph a day, theres many.  I forgot what its like to leave somewhere and be so happy that you have your camera alongside of you because your in the back of a bowling alley or some weird ass place most people wouldn't venture.  It is about time, im making up for all the lost time i took shrugging off deciding to take photographs, its too bad i missed so many things, but its just so relieving this old feeling is back.

It comes at a perfect time.  Tommorrow my brother and i will be venturing to a 4 day music festival in Tennesee called bonnaroo.  We are driving there from Colorado with a few of Joe's close friends, a road trip thats finally happening. Today we went on a hike with my brother Joe, my father and pretty much our godfather Mark.  Its so easy to see right now that these are likley the most cherished days i will spend in sometime.   So right now spending time with family, getting to do these crazy things while im young and capturing these special moments with the camera is what it is all about.  Throughout my life i have been a very appreciative and friendly person, which i am not knocking at all.  The thing i have always been missing is a fire in myself, an understanding to tell yourself that you take good photographs and you need to dig deeper and deeper to continue to get these great shots.  I don't like to be cocky at all and dont like anyone who does, but i like to see people who are good who carry that swagger, and thats what i plan to do.  Be expecting photographs from me that will make you go thats fucking cool, or wow i like his work.  I've already quit school and went through a funk, there are definately some doubts from people there, i never work to hard to upkeep a website, so there are some more doubters.  But right now its not about the doubters who might remember me and say shame, its about me and what i do with that camera, and right now i feel unstoppable. 

-Rock-